do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
