I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
