What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
