he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
