i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
