i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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