My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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