Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize