It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
