It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
