Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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