How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
