Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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