There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
