Moan for me like Helen Keller
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I supernannyed him into submission
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
