Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
