So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much