i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.