i would punch a child for taco bell
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?