I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.