is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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