ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
