Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
