Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
