my room smells like sperm. sweet.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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