So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
