I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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