you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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