You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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