Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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