Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
