Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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