I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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