Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize