i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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