Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
