he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
