Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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