you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
