He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fuck appropriateness.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
