batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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