it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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