omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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