OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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