Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
