Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
