His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
God, I missed his penis.
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