Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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