M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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