More tranny stories later!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
be right there i have to get my cape
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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