I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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