How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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