im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
