ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
