Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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