Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
