just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
True college students do jello shots in the library
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
