I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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