We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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