he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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