i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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