ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
